m having contradicts between my real self & ideal self during this few days :( actually it's ntg big matter it just something tat related to church works n my relationship between God.
My ideal self: take d responsible to do d works of church & face it with guts!
BUT THEN...
My real self: I doesn't deserve it & with my appearance, dyed hair colour surely gonna give bad impression. d one that doesn't dare to face d past. some more, doesn't even motivated to change d one that doesn't belong to me
See? so contradicts! not gonna mention what were my personal reasons rejected to do church works. so far I'd rejected to lead hmyns, join bible camp & also choir </3
I doesn't knw how to handle all this n face it with God... I knw as if I dn do it right nw thn whn will I hv d chance to do it for Him again but thn my heart jz as cold as ice now. I really hope that I can change bk to d original one tat I used to be. D one that so passion in any church actives & also church works. I need more spritual energy frm Him but can I manage to take it frm Him? I jz dn deserve it </3
Anyway, something tat let me felt better today! ;D it was crabs! seafood! yum yum!!!
Haha! eat more food that u love whn u're sad~ I remember one of my buddies told me that whenever I'm sad or down, eat more food tat I love so that it allows me to gain bk some happiness by eating our fav food! ;D
tat's all love! goodnight, xoxo! <3
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